Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Advice from the Knot.com

So you thought it'd be great to write your own wedding vows, but now a healthy dose of writer's block (not to mention fear of embarrassing yourself) has hit you squarely on the head. Don't know how to transform your heavy, life-altering, feelings into a string of coherent words? You're not alone -- but don't worry, your goal is within reach: Just take it one word at a time. Here's the homework you need to do (and the questions you should ask) to make your wedding vows perfect.
Prep Step A: Get clearanceMake sure your officiant will accept personalized vows. Catholic and Episcopal congregations, for instance, may require you to recite all or part of the traditional vows, though in most cases that's left to the officiant's discretion. Remember: Even the most accommodating officiant will want to review your words in advance.
Prep Step B: Make a planYou need to tackle the logistics to make sure you and your fiance are both on the same page: Are you each going to write your own, or will you write them together? Will you show them to each other before the ceremony?
Knot Note: If you're feeling shy, opt to write your vows together and even recite the exact same promises. If there's more you wish to say, privately, say it in the cards you exchange on the day of your wedding or on your honeymoon.
Prep Step C: Create your outlineAn outline can help to establish a structure that you both stick to. For example, plan to first talk about how great your fiance is, then about how great you are as a couple, then about what you're vowing to each other.
Prep Step D: Find your voiceWhat overall tone do you want: Humorous and touching? Poetic and mushy? It's your call -- the most important thing is that your vows ring true and sound like they're from your heart.
Prep Step E: Cut it downFinally, pick a length and stick to it by keeping the mantra pithy and to the point in mind -- anything longer than a minute or so, and no matter how gorgeous your prose, the audience will start to squirm.
Ready to Write!What exactly do you say? To help you think of sentiments to include, take turns answering this list of questions. When you're done, look through your answers for the phrases that best capture your intended message and incorporate them into the structure of your vows.

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